The Throne Room of Olympus was not designed for laughter. It was a place of judgment, of marble and thunder.
Yet today, it rang with the sound of giggling.
Zeus sat on his throne, his knuckles white as he gripped the armrests. His eyes, usually filled with the stern wisdom of a king, darted frantically around the room.
"Show yourself, demon!" he bellowed.
"Demon? That's rude. I'm a Sage! Specifically, the Great Sage, Equal to Heaven!" The voice came from everywhere and nowhere.
A peach pit bounced off Zeus’s forehead.
The King and the Clown
Zeus roared, standing up. The air pressure in the room dropped instantly, windows rattling as the Master Bolt materialized in his hand. He hurled it at a shadow near a pillar.
BOOM.
The marble column exploded into dust. But where the monkey had been, there was only a single, singing hair floating to the ground.
"Missed me!"
Sun Wukong appeared sitting cross-legged on top of the throne's backrest, casually eating a stolen ambrosia cake. He wore golden chainmail that jingled, and his eyes twinkled with ancient mischief.
"You have power, Old Man," Wukong chirped, spitting crumbs. "But you're so... static. Like a statue."
Zeus turned, his face purple with rage. He grew in size, becoming a titan of storm and muscle, filling the hall. "I defeated the Titans! I bound Typhon! I will not be mocked by an ape!"
He summoned a hurricane inside the throne room. Winds of 300 miles per hour tore tapestries from the walls, turning the hall into a vortex of destruction intended to pin the monkey against the wall.
72 Transformations
Wukong didn't fight the wind. He became it. Or rather, he transformed into a falcon, riding the gale with effortless grace. He swooped down, pecking at Zeus’s eyes before shifting again—this time into a giant hornet, buzzing angrily around the King’s head.
Zeus swatted wildly, blasting lightning at his own face in an attempt to hit the pest. "Stand and fight!"
Wukong shifted back to his true form, landing lightly on the floor. He pulled the Ruyi Jingu Bang—his iron staff—from his ear. It grew from the size of a needle to a pillar of iron in a split second.
"Okay," Wukong grinned.
He swung. The staff hit Zeus in the stomach with the weight of a mountain.
The King of Olympus doubled over, the wind knocked out of him. It was the first time in eon he had felt blunt pain.
The Unkillable Stone
Zeus recovered quickly. He was, after all, the King. He caught the next swing of the staff in one hand, the ground cracking beneath his feet. "I have you now."
Zeus channeled the full voltage of the sky into the staff, electrocuting the Monkey King. Wukong’s fur stood on end, his body glowing blue with enough energy to power a continent.
Wukong just laughed. "Tickles! I've been cooked in Lao Zi’s furnace for 49 days! A little zap is nothing!"
He multiplied. Suddenly, there were a thousand Wukongs filling the hall, each one bonking Zeus on the head, pulling his beard, or stealing his sandals.
Zeus fired lightning in every direction, vaporizing clones by the hundred, but for every one he destroyed, two more appeared. He was drowning in a sea of gold and fur.
Exhausted, humiliated, and breathing hard, Zeus lowered the Bolt. He couldn't hit what he couldn't catch. And he couldn't kill what was five-times immortal.
Wukong sat on a pile of rubble, twirling his staff. "So? Do I get a seat at the table? Or do I have to wreck the kitchen too?"
Zeus sighed, the storm clouds in his eyes clearing to reveal a tired resignation. "Take a seat, Monkey. Just... stop talking."